hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
