I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
