My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
