Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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