just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need to calm my uterus...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize