He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
