What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
