Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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