Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
