I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
