Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize