she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
