Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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