Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
