all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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