Dignity is for republicans.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize