waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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