Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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