my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you would pick up someone in the library
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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