dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
