what day is it and did you see me today?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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