found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
