can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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