does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
