I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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