Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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