I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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