you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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