that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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