how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize