we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My breasts were aching with rage.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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