Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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