Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
