how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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