i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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