I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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