i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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