i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize