So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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