omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
