I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
