we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize