y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
