we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
