hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
