im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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