is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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