He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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