I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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