the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
