porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
