he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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