I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
