I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
