yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
