No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
