I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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