i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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