no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
