Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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