Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
