Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
