If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
