If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
