Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
